Words of Wisdom
“The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on — it is never of any use to oneself.” –Oscar Wilde
1. The answer to the question, “do you want whipped cream with that?” is always yes.
2. Ladies, don’t go in the ocean when you’re on your period. You WILL get eaten by a shark.
3. Get the second cheapest liquor on the shelf. You’ll feel fancy, and your future self will thank you.
4. Don’t make someone a priority if they only make you an option. You don’t have to be anyone’s back-up plan. You’re awesome.
5. Don’t get caught.
6. Have you considered doughnut holes: the healthy alternative to doughnuts?
7. Gold spray paint solves a multitude of interior decorating problems.
8. Eating things with chopsticks > not eating with chopsticks.
9. The plural of “euro” is “euros”. Just like “dollar”→”dollars”. How fucking irritated would you be if someone kept saying “it was thirty dollar for the ticket”, and “I lost fifty five dollar when my wallet got stolen” and “I bribed that cop with a hundred dollar to keep his tattle-tale mouth shut”. Pretty fucking irritated, that’s how irritated.
10. End things on a positive note!