Things that Actually Happen to Me
Yesterday I was on the freeway and I looked in my rearview mirror and saw a guy on motorcycle coming up. Except he was standing on the seat — not standing up in the seat, literally standing with his feet on the seat — which was pretty impressive given how fast he was going, if somewhat terrifying.
Not content with just defying the laws of physics and gravity, however, he also had his hand fully down his pants and he was just going for it. I don’t know if he was scratching or jackin’ it or what, but he was being really aggressive with himself.
So he pulls up next to my car and looks at me, and just carries on driving one-handed while standing on the seat. While not watching the road. At 65 miles/hour. Just staring at each other. For what felt like at least 25 minutes but which was probably closer to 1 minute.
I’m not even mad. I’m just impressed.