Things that Exist: Creepy Baby Stamps

by sassandbite

So I was looking for rubber stamps recently. Remembered I have an Amazon gift card and innocently decided to hit them up. Regretted it almost instantly.

That’s the order of things here.

I was horrified to discover that this is available for purchase:

51KWmJmzxqLLike, what could ever possibly be the context for this?

In what environment are you living where you could ever possibly have need of this?

It’s not even your baby. You’re just gonna put a cropped picture of some random baby on your personal stationary or your Christmas card or whatever?

The only time this would be appropriate to send to someone — and you’d better be sending this to someone, not just keeping it around for your own sick personal amusement — is as a threat. Because if I open an envelope and this is staring up at me from a piece of cardstock, I’m taking it as a warning. That baby is not afraid of eye contact. That baby is not fucking around.

If anyone’s interested, you can also purchase this:


In case you have need of a pensive, possibly-Victorian women who’s not getting enough sleep. For whatever reason.

No judgement.