(Un)inspire Me, Internet : Stupid Motivational Shit
I spend an absurd amount of time on the internet. #Funemployment. A good portion of that time is devoted to Pinterest. #Idon’tcarewhatyouthink. #ArbiterOfTaste.
The point is that there is so much stupid “motivational” shit on the internet. Memes and quotes and pictures. From what I can tell, it’s meant to be really inspiring and profound and fist-pumpy. And. . . it’s just not.
Most times it’s more like someone took excerpts from a 12 year-old’s diary. I give you:
And now it’s permanently tattooed on your body.
I’m sure the other arm says something equally as meaningful, such as “There is light until nighttime”. Probably with a sun-and-moon border.
Then there are the lecture-y ones from people with a dubious grasp of grammar and spelling:
You don’t get to tell me shit if you can’t spell the things you’re talking about.
Some of them are paired with a totally unrelated picture, usually in black and white, because it’s all dramatic and profound and stuff:
Why are you standing (sitting?) on that piano? How did the piano get involved in all of this?
Why is the H in “happiest” capitalized?
Probably because it makes it more Profound.
Continuing in the “totally obvious and self-explanatory” vein:
I think the flight attendant in Bridesmaids put it best when he said, “that is absolutely accurate”.
I would also like to point out that the person who pinned it put it on a board titled “Things I Love”, with the caption “faith”.
And some of this shit is just woefully irresponsible :
There is a child right next to you. I have foreseen how this ends, and it is with a blood-spattered tutu.
Who told you it was appropriate to walk into a supermarket, fill your basket with stuff and then lift it over your head for shits and gigs? Who told you it was impressive? Nobody likes a show-off.
We need to talk about your outfit. It appears that you shortened the sleeves of your already-too-tight jersey, presumably to make your freakishly muscular arms look even bigger. I don’t even have words for this.
It also appears that you oiled up your arms. Which means either this little display was a premeditated thing, or you just make a habit of oiling yourself up before you leave the house.
I can’t even decide which is worse.