(Un)inspire Me, Internet : Stupid Motivational Shit

by sassandbite

I spend an absurd amount of time on the internet. #Funemployment. A good portion of that time is devoted to Pinterest. #Idon’tcarewhatyouthink. #ArbiterOfTaste.

The point is that there is so much stupid “motivational” shit on the internet. Memes and quotes and pictures. From what I can tell, it’s meant to be really inspiring and profound and fist-pumpy. And. . . it’s just not.

Most times it’s more like someone took excerpts from a 12 year-old’s diary. I give you:

Um, yeah. That’s. . . . that’s generally how it works.

And now it’s permanently tattooed on your body.

I’m sure the other arm says something equally as meaningful, such as “There is light until nighttime”. Probably with a sun-and-moon border.


Then there are the lecture-y ones from people with a dubious grasp of grammar and spelling:

1) Commas and periods are not interchangeable.
2) Plurals require “are”, not “is”.
3) Is it? Is it “pratical” to buy those things? More “pratical” than using spell-check, even?

You don’t get to tell me shit if you can’t spell the things you’re talking about.


Some of them are paired with a totally unrelated picture, usually in black and white, because it’s all dramatic and profound and stuff:

hy are you standing (sitting?) on that piano? How did the piano get involved in all of this?
Why is the H in “happiest” capitalized?

Probably because it makes it more Profound.


Continuing in the “totally obvious and self-explanatory” vein:


I think the flight attendant in Bridesmaids put it best when he said, “that is absolutely accurate”.

I would also like to point out that the person who pinned it put it on a board titled “Things I Love”, with the caption “faith”.


And some of this shit is just woefully irresponsible :


There is a child right next to you. I have foreseen how this ends, and it is with a blood-spattered tutu.

Who told you it was appropriate to walk into a supermarket, fill your basket with stuff and then lift it over your head for shits and gigs? Who told you it was impressive? Nobody likes a show-off.


We need to talk about your outfit. It appears that you shortened the sleeves of your already-too-tight jersey, presumably to make your freakishly muscular arms look even bigger. I don’t even have words for this.

It also appears that you oiled up your arms. Which means either this little display was a premeditated thing, or you just make a habit of oiling yourself up before you leave the house.

I can’t even decide which is worse.