Words of Wisdom
“The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on — it is never of any use to oneself.” –Oscar Wilde
1. Never wear the belt that came with the dress.
2. Sometimes popcorn and wine counts as dinner.
3. Always lawyer up. You know on Law & Order and CSI, etc. where the suspect is always like, “should I be asking for a lawyer?” or “I have nothing to hide, I’m innocent, ask me anything.”? Those people are idiots. Skip that step, lawyer up.
4. Not everything needs bacon. Let’s move on.
5. If you don’t vote, you don’t get an opinion. You don’t get to bitch, about anything, ever.
6. If you’re a terrible cook and will never be able to contribute food or throw a party that involves food at the risk of poisoning everyone, establish a reputation as the one who brings the best (or most?) booze.
7. If you’re a farmer and you need it to rain so you can get a crop or whatever, wash your car.
8. People who smile too much are not to be trusted.
9. If you find yourself wondering, with any regularity, if you deserve better. . . you probably do.