Words of Wisdom
“The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on — it is never of any use to oneself.” –Oscar Wilde
1. If a freeway has only two numbers, it leads nowhere good.
2. Always spring for good bedsheets.
3. Can we all just agree to stop calling American cheese “cheese”?
4. Don’t be too cool for school on Instagram, maneuvering to get more followers than followees by elaborate and shady measures, etc. That’s just sheer douchebaggery.
5. Before you do something, ask yourself: could this serve as an alternate opening to Taken? If the answer is yes, do not do that thing.
6. If they cheated with you, they’ll probably cheat on you. Like, 99%. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
7. Hydyogen peroxide will get blood out of fabric. Please don’t ask me how I came to know this. Just accept the knowledge and move on.
8. Apples have no place in a fruit salad.
9. If you make a wish on a clock at 11:11 and then a minute or two later you look at a different clock and that one says 11:11, it still counts, so make it again.