At My Age, Lauren Bacall had Already Modeled for Harper’s Bazaar, Starred in Several Movies, Had a Torrid Affair with Humphrey Bogart, and Got Him to Put a Ring On It
This is just a quickie.
I really have nothing for you people — I’ve been working at least nine hours every single day for the last week and it will not end for several more days, followed by coming home and doing more work. This is not a complaint, this is merely an explanation for my silence.
The point is that I am only here because today I came to the startling realization that Girl Scout Cookies are now being sold.
This is significant not only because they are the tits, but because it is proof that I have yet to switch to the adult method of measuring the year, which I assume is just a blur of responsibility and unspeakable boredom punctuated by the occasional 3-day weekend.
This is opposed to my life-long habit of thinking of the year in terms of school, which puts Girl Scout Cookies on Sale as the signal for Basically-February.
Last Basically-February, I was mercifully close to graduating college.
Which I did in March.
Which means that as of this date — when someone, somewhere, is able to purchase cookies from a small girl outside of Trader Joe’s who is really only in it for the prize beach towel — I finished college nearly one year ago.
Which seems like a very long time for someone who has accomplished as little as I have.
And I didn’t really realize it had been that long.
And despite the length of this little rant, all of this went through my head in the space of about 2.7 seconds today.
Also, I would just like to share with everyone the fact that when you google-image Girl Scout Cookies, like 43% of the pictures are of weed. So.