Attention, Purveyors of Clothing:

by sassandbite

We need to talk. It’s been bothering me for like a year and a half now, and I had hoped it would go away on its own, but apparently that’s not going to happen, so I’m just gonna say it.

Not everything needs to be a crop top.

I know it’s all trendy right now, but for real, it is possible to manufacture a shirt that falls below the ribcage. And even make it look good. We have the technology.

I mean, some of us are not 16 anymore, and don’t care to dress like we are. Who let them dictate the trends, anyway? They have horrible taste. It’s Coachella and Zooey Deschanel every day with them.

Also, some of us have hit that proverbial slowing of the metabolism that we were always warned about, although I’m pretty sure I was told it didn’t happen until closer to 30.

And, some of us spend a little more time drowning our quarter-life crisis in wine and food than we used to, so a garment that doesn’t stop right at the most unflattering spot below the waist line but above the hips — you know what I mean, that little roll — would be much appreciated. Not only by us, but by the people we have to interact with on the daily.

Peace and Blessings,

Everyone who has graduated from high school and is trying to get their lives together, or at least dress like they are