Thai (Vaguely) Chopped Salad

by sassandbite


One of my culinary pastimes is creating salad versions of other foods I like. Do I sound like a diet-fixated Housewife contestant with too much time on her hands? Possibly, but screw you, salads are great. And because I’m all about looks, I like that they’re attractive.  At least until I start enthusiastically shoveling them in my mouth.


I should say, salads with a lot of stuff in them are great. Substance. Anyway, a few weeks ago I was craving spicy peanut sauce — not an actual dish, mind you, just the sauce — and decided to get my fix through my other craving, for a salad. Behold, this pretty thing.


I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you’re capable of the putting-the-salad-together part without too much guidance. I’ve been losing a lot of faith in humanity recently, but I’m holding out on this one. Guidelines follow, as well as a rough recipe for peanut sauce.



Napa cabbage, chopped
Bean sprouts, ends trimmed
Whole carrots, skins removed and then peeled or finely sliced
Cucumbers, finely sliced or chopped
Shredded chicken
Green onion, diced
Cilantro, chopped

Get everything into more or less bite-sized form and combine in a bowl.

Peanut Sauce

*Based on my friend’s mom’s Vietnamese recipe, which I don’t know how different it is from Thai and I don’t really care because it was good, so there. And because I can’t leave things alone, I threw some other stuff in there. See the end of the previous sentence if you have an objection to this.

1 tsp. hoisin sauce
2 tbls. smooth peanut butter
1/2 tsp. sesame oil
splash of orange juice
clove of garlic, crushed or minced
Sriracha to taste

Warm the hoisin and peanut butter gently over low heat, then stir in everything else. Put on top of salad. Consume.

Also, those measurements are almost entirely bullshit. I just mixed stuff until I had the right ratio. I know I’m annoying, I’ll do better next time. Until then, just play around until you get it right.