So Mother’s Day is this Sunday. I have a little something for mother, who is extremely difficult to buy gifts for, and obviously we’ll be doing nice things for her on Sunday, probably involving food and flowers. But perhaps my greatest gift to her will be admitting that perhaps, over the course of my life, there have been a handful of times she was right about stuff.
Things My Mom was Right About:
1. Your face really will stick that way.
2. Anything worth doing is worth doing well.
3. I wasn’t dying of flesh-eating bacteria.
4. My childhood dalliance with dark lipliner and light lipstick is best not spoken of.
5. Dish soap removes most stains from clothing.
6. I wasn’t dying of botulism.
7. Not enough real food makes me terrible to be around.
8. Clean as you go.
9. It wasn’t a tumor.
10. Abercrombie & Fitch is a terrible company and they’re best avoided.
11. Clean out your car while you’re waiting for the tank to fill at the gas station.
12. I wasn’t dying of Toxic Shock Syndrome.
Happy Mother’s Day!